Table of Contents
Introduction: Before Booking A Registrar
Are you recently engaged? Perhaps you are just starting out on your wedding planning journey? Yes? Then it is vitally important that you read on. If your wedding ceremony is important to you, consider these 6 important steps before booking a registrar and finalising your ceremony. Why? Because there are other options available to you that you may not be aware of.
Consider All Your Options
Registrars are the default for many many couples. This is because often they are not aware of the options available to them and are therefore unable to make an informed decision.
Before I go any further, the alternative to a civil ceremony led by a Registrar, is to choose a Wedding Celebrant. The difference between the two is that a registrar legalises marriage and a celebrant writes and officiates bespoke ceremonies for weddings.
Most couples have not even heard of a wedding celebrant and often find themselves committed to a registrar led ceremony before they realise. In some cases they regret it. So, before booking a registrar consider this blog, it is here to prevent that being you.
I’m hoping that by following these steps you will ask yourself questions that will help in your decision-making process. So, let’s crack on with these vitally important steps.
photo credit Hannah Goddard Photography
Step 1 – Wedding Venues
Before booking a registrar ask wedding venues what options you have for your ceremony, not only where it can be held, but who by?
I’m starting here because choosing your venue is normally the first job on your wedding planning list. This is a big decision after all, and there are many many glorious ones to choose from. It is often the time when you will begin to think about your wedding ceremony. Where it will be and of course who will officiate?
When you visit your shortlisted venues, they will doubtless recommend that you contact the registrar, to save your chosen date for your wedding. The facts are that, yes you do have to contact the registrar to give notice to legally marry, and yes, they are very busy. Indeed, venues and registrars get very booked up. But, before booking a registrar, consider all your options. Likewise, here’s the important part, don’t pay your venue deposit to hold your date, until you are certain you want a registrar to officiate at your ceremony at the venue. Otherwise, before you know it, you will be down the registrar rabbit hole and it will be too late to change course.
Step 2 – Before Booking a Registrar
Before booking a registrar ask yourself why you want a registrar to officiate at your wedding ceremony.
The obvious and quick answer is because they can officiate and legalise the marriage at the same time. You may or may not know that a wedding celebrant cannot. Is this a deal breaker already? I hope not! Please read on.
This is important, because I don’t want you, 6 months down the line, thinking why did I not look into my alternatives and say, like so many others, “I didn’t even know that was possible?”
Photo credit Michael Wells Photography
Step 3 – Your Wedding Ceremony
Now we’re getting to the nitty gritty – think about how important your ceremony is to you?
Again, before booking a registrar consider, which one of these options describes your feelings about it? And I really mean your feelings, not your families or friends. In my experience, so often, family members can deeply influence this decision-making process. Remember, it’s your day.
- Is the ceremony the bit that you must get through and then the party really starts. You don’t care too much about it or who officiates.
- It’s a one stop shop. Ceremony and marriage all done at once. Neat and tidy.
- It’s important to you that the ceremony includes the legal marriage contract.
- Or it is much more than all of the above. Do you want it to be about you and free from any restrictions and limitations? Do you want it to be deeply personal and meaningful. Do you want to have a choice on the content, infusing your style, personality and cultural traditions. Do you want it to be relaxed, fun and tailormade and written by someone you have chosen.
Step 4 – Now you can consider your options
Which one of the above is you?
If you are option 1 and 2 then the registrar will be absolutely perfect for you.
If you are option 3. Before booking a registrar, please think about why it is so important to include those 40, yes only 40, declaratory and contracting words (excluding your names) in the ceremony? By including those words, which trust me none of your guests will notice if they are not included, it will mean that your ceremony will become the generic script heard repeatedly and led by a total stranger.
Perhaps you don’t mind, but if you are open to doing something very slightly different. There is an alternative way to legalise your marriage. Read on and I shall explain.
If you are option 4, before booking a registrar, you should seriously consider engaging a wedding celebrant, you are ideally suited to work together.
Photo credit: Nick Walker Photography
Step 5 – Research
Reach out to friends, family or your other wedding suppliers and ask them what their experience of celebrant led ceremonies is.
You will be amazed how other wedding suppliers’ eyes will light up when they hear you have booked or are toying with the idea of booking a celebrant. Venue managers, wedding planners and photographers have heard the generic script of a registrar led ceremony time and time again! They love celebrant led ceremonies.
If you are engaged, it stands to reason that many of your friends will be getting married too. Some will have church weddings, but many will have civil. How many times have they heard that same old formulaic script that the registrar’s read? Do you want your ceremony to be exactly the same as everyone else’s?
Step 6 – Celebrant Led Wedding Ceremonies
Take some time to dip into the world of modern weddings.
The world really is your oyster. On the day, it’s way more relaxed, way more flexible. Most importantly you, your relationship, your story is the focus of the entire proceedings. There are no limitations or restrictions. You can choose your celebrant, choose the content, choose where you want to hold your ceremony – not just licensed venues, there may be somewhere that’s particularly special to you both.
And the burning question, how do you legalise it? It’s simple. You tell the registration service when you give notice that you want the statutory legal ceremony. These proceedings are held at the registry office. You take two witnesses with you; you don’t need to exchange vows or rings you simply sign the marriage contract. And it costs around £50. I’d recommend you do this on a different day to your actual wedding. You can then have the ceremony of your dreams!
Conclusion: Before Booking a Registrar
Remember your wedding ceremony is a celebration of love. It is not all about the legalising of your marriage. Before booking a registrar, consider the options. Registrars do a great job, but they are in the marriage business. Wedding celebrants are in the wedding business. They have a knack for creating an atmosphere filled with joy, laughter and pure happiness. Surely that’s what you want for your ceremony?
I hope before booking a registrar I have given you food for thought, at the very least. If you decide you want to learn a little more about celebrant led ceremonies feel free to get in touch I’d be delighted to chat it all through with you.
