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Introduction to Civil Wedding Ceremony Guide
The civil wedding ceremony has overtaken church weddings as the most popular way of getting married. For the purpose of this blog I am assuming that tying the knot in church is not an option and instead it is the civil wedding ceremony path.
Understandably this is unchartered territory for couples and it is easy to get swept along ending up with the most common process. So lets dig a little deeper into the civil wedding ceremony and explain all the options that are available.
Did you know you actually have two options for a civil wedding ceremony? The first can be held at the registry office, and the other held at an approved or licensed venue. So sit back and enjoy my ultimate guide to civil wedding ceremonies.
What are the first steps?
Before you undertake either you must give notice to your local registrar’s notice of your intention to marry. This is when they do all the checks. Assuming all is well you can legally marry 29 days later but within 365 days otherwise the process will need to begin again. You can then decide which type of ceremony you want.
There are two ways of getting legally married aka having a civil wedding ceremony
One can take place at the registry office. It costs £46 and is attended by yourselves and two witnesses. The other is when the registrar attends an approved venue which, in Devon on a Saturday currently costs (October 2023) £525.00.
But which type of ceremony is right for you and what is the difference? You may be surprised to read that the rather dull first option may throw up all sort of possibilities that you are not aware of so read on.
Civil wedding ceremony held at Registry Office
The word ceremony is loosely used here. It is hardly a ceremony more a signing of a legal contract. It suits those who wish to legalise their marriage in the simplest and quickest way. It is often held in a small interview room without readings, music, personal vows, floral arrangements or any fanfare at all.
It takes little more than 10 minutes. A couple attends with two witnesses, make their legal declarations and sign the marriage register. Contrary to popular belief there is no need to exchange vows or rings. The words will be just the legal declaratory and contractual words. There is nothing ceremonial about this option. It is simply a signing of a legal contract, similar to a registering a birth or death.
Before we go any further this might be a good moment to explain that there is a big fat difference between getting legally married and having a wedding. Marriage is the legal contract and longevity of your relationship. Your wedding is the occasion/ceremony that celebrates that marriage. You don’t have a marriage anniversary you have a wedding anniversary.
Why would you want your civil wedding ceremony to be so simple?
Sometimes it’s budget, but sometimes it’s because it enables full control of the actual wedding ceremony which is otherwise not possible. Full civil wedding ceremonies are restrictive on many levels by law.
More and more modern couples are turning to wedding celebrants who are trained to create bespoke wedding ceremonies and are free from the shackles of the law. By removing the 40 declaratory and contracting words beginning with “I can call upon all of you here present” it gives them freedom to choose and personalise every aspect of their ceremony. This is not possible otherwise. They want their ceremony their way. Not a templated version and one that has been heard countless times before.
By choosing this option they have total freedom and control on who officiates, where the ceremony is held and at what time midnight or midday. Furthermore they can choose whatever the content they wish enabling it too be totally personalised, individual and unique; tailored to reflect their heritage, culture or simply their story.
It is important to understand as well that if you choose this option it does not need to be completed on the same day as your wedding. It can be done whenever you wish. The day before, the week or month before or even afterwards. This leaves you free to enjoy your wedding day without any formalities at all.
The alternative is a full civil wedding ceremony held at an approved venue
This civil wedding ceremony can be held at approved or licensed venues. Here’s how it works.
2 registrars will present. One will officiate and the other will complete the paperwork. You must attend a meeting with them individually prior to the ceremony. Sadly you do not get to choose your registrar; it’s basically whoever is available on the day and it is more than likely that the timing of your ceremony will need to fit in with their busy schedules. Registrars attend many ceremonies a day. Wedding celebrants as a rule only attend one giving you total flexibility.
The ceremony will typically last about 20 minutes and is restrictive in its content. By law it cannot include any element of religious, cultural tradition or spiritual symbolism. Any additional personalisation to the generic script must be approved by the registrars in advance. This includes personalised vows, readings and music.
This is a popular option for those who wish the legal marriage to be included within the ceremony. It’s for those who don’t mind if there is little or no personalisation, have no control over the content or who leads their ceremony. They want a one stop shop.
So which civil wedding ceremony option is right for you?
The truth is that councils or registration offices are unlikely to promote the first, simplest option. It is less lucrative for them. Also wedding venues rightly suggest that the registrars are contacted immediately because they are so busy and the demand on peak saturdays is massive. It’s also often assumed that you want a full ceremony led by them at your chosen venue as this is the most common route. But now you know that there is an alternative and excellent one too.
If you would like to learn more about the process of working with a celebrant and the amazing difference it can make to your civil wedding ceremony please do feel free to message me or call 07813 901149
