While receptions often steal the spotlight with the food, flowers and dancing, nothing captures the heart more than the wedding ceremony vows. The ceremony and those words of commitment are what everything else is built on. The meaning behind your wedding ceremony vows transform your day from a celebration into a commitment and the promises or what binds two people together in front of their loved ones.
Your wedding ceremony vows are where the real magic happens. They’re deeply personal, often emotional, and heartfelt. Whether you want to stick with something traditional, write your own, or do a blend of both, my role is to guide you so that your wedding ceremony vows feel true to you.
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Photo credit: DHW Photography
THE MEANING BEHIND WEDDING CEREMONY VOWS
Wedding ceremony vows aren’t just about pretty words. They’re about making promises that matter—promises to love, to support, to respect, and to grow together. They set the tone for your marriage and act as a compass for the journey ahead.
Some of my couples come to me knowing exactly what they want to say. Others feel overwhelmed at the thought of writing vows. Let me assure you—there is no right or wrong when it comes to your wedding ceremony vows. What matters is that they reflect your story and your values as a couple.
Traditionally, vows emphasised duty, devotion, and faithfulness, often framed through religious or cultural customs. Modern wedding ceremony vows, however, tend to celebrate individuality, shared values, and a deep respect for partnership. Couples today often see them as both a declaration and a roadmap: a set of guiding principles for their future together.
Think of vows as the mission statement of your relationship. They don’t have to cover every detail of life, but they should reflect what matters most: love, respect, support, and trust.
And here’s something that often surprises couples: your personal wedding ceremony vows are not the same as the legal words required to make your marriage official.
Every legal wedding ceremony whether civil or or religious includes two sets of mandatory statements:
- The declaratory words – where you state that you are free and willing to marry.
- The contractual words – where you formally take each other as husband, wife, or spouse.
Those words are what legalise your marriage in the eyes of the law.
Your wedding ceremony vows, however, are different. They’re not about legalities—they’re about love. These are the words where you express your personal promises, share your story, and set intentions for your future together. They’re deeply emotional and symbolic, rather than legal.
This distinction often comes as a relief to couples who worry about “getting it wrong.” You can’t get your vows wrong—they don’t carry legal weight. They’re yours to shape however you want, with as much creativity and personality as you like.
Photo credit: Story & Colour
TRADITIONAL WEDDING VOWS
For centuries, many couples have chosen the familiar wording passed down through religious and cultural traditions. The famous Christian vows, for example, often include:
- “To have and to hold, from this day forward”
- “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer”
- “In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”
Other traditions may vary: Hindu ceremonies often weave in vows tied to each step around a sacred fire, symbolizing commitments to harmony, strength, prosperity, and love. Jewish ceremonies traditionally incorporate the “Ketubah” (marriage contract) and the recitation of sacred blessings.
For some, traditional vows feel timeless and grounding. They connect you to centuries of couples who have stood in the same place and made the same promises. They’re short, familiar, and powerful.
But many couples I work with love the freedom to personalise their vows. They want to weave in their own words, inside jokes, and heartfelt promises. Sometimes they strike a romantic, poetic tone; other times, they keep things light, fun, and full of laughter. Both are perfect, because both are real.
Photo Credit: The Unbridled
HOW WE CAN WORK ON YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY VOWS TOGETHER
While traditional vows remain meaningful, more couples today are choosing to write their own. Personal wedding ceremony vows allow you to speak from the heart, share your story, and inject humour, personality, or intimate details that wouldn’t otherwise appear in a standard ceremony.
Think about it: your vows might mention how your partner makes the world’s worst coffee but the best Sunday mornings. Or they might highlight the long-distance calls that kept your love alive across continents. Personalised vows remind everyone present—most importantly, your partner—why this love is yours and yours alone.
When you work with me as your celebrant, you have the freedom to create vows that are truly yours. If you’d like, I can guide you through the process of writing them—helping you reflect on your relationship, capture your voice, and balance storytelling with promises.
On the day itself, you have options:
- You can repeat after me, which takes the pressure off having to remember every word.
- Or, you can read your vows directly from a keepsake booklet I prepare for you.
- A few couples, very few I may add, have even memorised them
Photo credit: Jo Greenfield Photography
MY TIPS FOR WRITING PERSONAL WEDDING CEREMONY VOWS
If you’d like to write your own vows, here’s the advice I usually share with couples: First and forecmost I cannot write them for you. Your wedding ceremony vows are your promises to one another. What I can do however is point you in the right direction.
- Reflect on your story – Think about the moments that define your relationship.
- Keep it balanced – Mix heartfelt emotion with clear promises for the future.
- Be concise – Around 1–2 minutes is perfect.
- Choose your tone – Romantic, funny, poetic, or a blend—it should feel like you.
- Practice out loud – It helps you feel confident when emotions are high on the day.
- Most importantly – don’t forget to say “I love you”
And remember, if you get stuck, I’m here to help. Sometimes all it takes is a gentle nudge to unlock the words that have been in your heart all along.
DELIVERING YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY VOWS ON THE DAY
This is the part couples often worry about most, but I promise it’s not as daunting as it seems. I’ll be right there to guide you through. Speak slowly, take a breath when you need to, and look at your partner. Don’t be afraid if your voice shakes or if you laugh or cry—those raw emotions are what make vows so moving.
A KEEPSAKE FOR LIFE
For me, your wedding ceremony vows aren’t just for the wedding day. They’re something to hold onto and revisit throughout your marriage. That’s why I always give my couples a keepsake copy. Many frame them, reread them on anniversaries, or simply keep them tucked away as a quiet reminder of why they chose each other.
Photo Credit: Mimosa Photography
FINAL THOUGHTS
As your celebrant, my job is to help you create a ceremony that feels authentic, personal, and memorable. And at the heart of it all are the wedding ceremony vows—the promises that will guide your life together. When all is said and done, the cake will be eaten, the flowers will fade, and the music will stop—but your vows will remain. They are the foundation of your marriage, the truest reflection of your love, and the most personal part of your ceremony.
Whether you choose the comfort of tradition, the intimacy of personalised words, or a blend of both, remember: vows are about making a promise that feels real to you. They don’t have to be perfect, poetic, or even polished—they just need to be sincere and authentically you.
Because at the end of the day, those few words—spoken through tears, laughter, or trembling hands—are what transform your wedding from a celebration into a lifelong union.
So whichever route you choose to go down know that your wedding ceremony vows will be perfect simply because they’re yours. And I’ll be right there beside you, making sure those words shine on your wedding day—and stay with you long after.
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