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photo credit: Zac Gibson Photography
More and more couples are separating their legal marriage from their special wedding ceremony. It has been fairly commonplace for destination weddings abroad, but now, it’s becoming more and more popular here in the UK. Why is this an emerging trend?
Couples want to take control of such an important milestone event in their lives. They want an extra special wedding ceremony and the simplest way to do this, is by separating the legal side of things from your actual wedding day.
That Sounds Confusing?
It sounds mad, I know, but the simple act of couples detaching the legal aspect of marriage, from the symbolism and celebration of a special wedding ceremony, enables them to take back control and focus on what matters to them. In most cases, this is having a more personalised and unique experience. You become free from any restrictions put in place by the law of the land, or the church.
In this blog I will describe the 3 main advantages of separating the legal side of your marriage, from the wedding ceremony. In addition to this, I will also explain the process for doing this with the registration services. You will be amazed not only how easy it is, but also how much cheaper!!
Photo credit: Jo Greenfield
Why are couples separating the legal marriage from their special wedding ceremony?
The law has strict guidelines for civil ceremonies which prohibits much of what I describe below and highlights why this is an emerging trend.
1. Couples wish to prioritise the emotional aspects of commitment
A special wedding ceremony should be an opportunity to celebrate a couple’s love, their story and their beliefs. Likewise it should honour their relationship with friends and families, who have been on their journey with them. Finally, it should celebrate the beginning of a lifelong journey together, without the distraction of legalities. By separating the legal marriage from a special wedding ceremony, couples can prioritise the emotional aspects of their commitment.
2. Couples want less formality and more flexibility
Separating the legal formalities beforehand reduces the stress and formality associated with these procedures and the paperwork involved. This can often be overwhelming and time-consuming. By separating the legal marriage from a special wedding ceremony, couples can alleviate the stress associated with these processes. Furthermore, instead of having to adhere to strict time schedules, bureaucratic hurdles, and procedures on the morning of their wedding, they can focus on the day ahead and their friends and families.
Lastly separating the legal aspect gives couples way more freedom to choose not only a date, but a time, location and who will lead the ceremony. This flexibility means that they really do have total control, with little or no compromises, to create a special wedding ceremony that aligns with their vision.
Photo credit: Luna weddings
3. Couples wanting more inclusivity and personalisation
There are so many ways to truly personalise your wedding ceremony. I’m guided entirely by my couples, but do adopt a fairly subtle approach to this personalisation, with the focus solely on the couple, their relationship with each other, of course, and indeed their friends and families. It’s a true celebration filled with warmth, sincerity and laughter. Personalised vows and the exchange of rings wording, readings, religious or non religious, and music of course. Other wedding celebrants specialise in creating visual representation, through symbolism such as hand fasting etc.
The point is, by separating the legal side of marriage from a special wedding ceremony, it enables couples to have the choice. Therefore, you can choose an industry professional that fits with your vision.
The world has become smaller and our lives are richer for it. Many weddings include couples and communities with diverse backgrounds, cultures, traditions and lives in general. Why shouldn’t these couples experience a special wedding ceremony?
This is another example of how, by separating the legal requirements, these cultural traditions, that have been passed down through generations, can be incorporated into the wedding ceremony. By so doing they not only add a unique touch to the celebration, but also serve as a way to honour and preserve heritage. From traditional attire, to customs and rituals, a special wedding ceremony is a platform to showcase and celebrate cultural diversity. These traditions not only reflect the couple’s cultural roots but also create a sense of belonging and pride among all the guests.
Photo credit: Paige Grace Photography
So how do you separate the legal marriage from your Special wedding ceremony?
The first step, after you have chosen your wedding venue, whether it be licensed or unlicensed (i.e. a place of your choice, literally anywhere) is to approach the registration services. I have written a blog (link here) explaining the entire process of getting legally married. You have to do this to give notice that you wish to marry. This is the first stage of the process.
The second stage is the actual signing of the legal marriage contract. This does not have to be done at your wedding venue, during your special wedding ceremony.
The signing of the legal contract can be done at select registry offices (they differ, please do check with your local council offices). You request the basic statutory ceremony, also sometimes known as the 2+2 ceremony. The cost of which is as little as £46 (again, please check your local office). You take 2 witnesses with you. There is no need to exchange vows or rings. Both these elements of a wedding ceremony are entirely symbolic and bear absolutely no legal or contractual requirement. I recommend you also read this popular blog on how to celebrate your legal marriage.
Photo credit: Kathryn Clarke McLeod
Having separated the legals from the wedding who will officiate my Special wedding ceremony?
The truth is, that anyone can, because as explained above, there are no rules or regulations. Some couples choose friends. However, and yes of course I am a little biased, I would recommend employing a professional independent Wedding Celebrant who is trained to write and lead your special wedding ceremony, just like myself (click on the link to chat). It’s no different from choosing a professional Wedding Photographer, rather than your friend who can take great pictures. Leave the ceremony to the industry professionals; you won’t regret it.
The concept of marriage and civil ceremony has evolved significantly over the years. Gone are the days when a wedding ceremony was solely about legalising a union between two people, whether that be in a church, or a licensed venue. The simplicity of separating the legal marriage from the wedding ceremony paves the way for a real celebration of a couple’s love, along with flexibility, inclusivity, and personalisation from the very beginning of the ceremony until right to the very end.
